Christmas report

Christmas here was a bit different for a few reasons one being we didn't go out for lunch between some inter family stuff that tested patience to the limits and Mummy and I being very unwell just before and still recovering  so even if we had, it really would of been a waste as we'd not of eaten much.
With that we ate at home between ourselves, with the Turkey being put in over night to cook right through, vegetables done across the morning and the Christmas Pudding zapped in two minutes flat before eating!
As it was 2015 I had to help out getting stuff out, setting the table, clearing the table and with washing up.
I did have a number of presents this year although somethings are in transit as as I wasn't well enough to organize them to just before Christmas which does give me something to look forward toward I guess.

A perennial with me is comic annuals which are a direct run on from the Christmas presents I has as a child featuring special and sometimes Christmas themed cartoon strips from my all time favourite characters such as the no longer running apart from specials, Dandy which had Korky the cat, Desperate Dan of Cow Pie fame and others in it. 

The BIG comic with me as a Child was Britain's Beano a veritable parallel world for those of us who were of official school age  during the 70's thru 90's it's peak period with it's own school and characters in the form of the Bash Street Kids, my hero Winker Watson and Dennis the Menace who like us also got smacked if they were naughty (and they were!).
As time went by some strips like Lord Snooty got retired and others like Bananaman who did have a tv series too joined the old favourites and the questionable practise of featuring in the news real people like pop stars and the like in story-lines crept in.

To say I like the Dandy and the Beano is an understatement and this year there is a specialty annual of Prank based reissues of older stories from both comics some I'm familar with from the very late 60's onward as I read the comics as a boy and some before my time that I had heard of.

It's a treasure trove of stories, characters and laughs that will be cared for.

My Auntie brought me a selection box which was a super inspired choice on her part as she not formally known about my Middle side but can tell straight I'm very child-like.

To be honest I'd sooner people either asked ideally or just bought me things more like this because I just so not relate to *adult* likes and that at all so buying for a middle child really is more sensible.

Post 600 - reflections on a year

I mentioned  a short while back at the odd place we were approaching the 600th post of this blog which by coincidence was just over a year and a week back and I was thinking about doing something a bit special.

Well other things intervened altering the posts between as well as the frequency a bit for good measure not least being very unwell recently and during that period I thought about some of things and people that matter  the most to me.

The first thing is there's a person who I've only known for a few years and due to distance I only see from time to time who in their own way has been such a inspiration and source of reassurance at times even though they themselves have had their own difficulties some of which we do have in common.

They've encouraged me to be more open about myself, who I am, what interests me with other people, to feel comfortable doing arts stuff like drawing which I've always had hang ups with just for the fun of it and above all just accepts me as I am.

The year has been hard for us both following the death of our (and probably for a good number of you, yours too) close friend where we've both been supporting each other  and both of us have been supported by others which has been a great source of comfort.
You're a star.

Then there are other people such as those that have given me a home from home where I can just relax with my mind free from some of the stuff that gets on top of me here, enjoying a meal and like minded company together.

Which if on it's own is something I'd be thankful for but you go much further than that, you look after me, not in a super fussy way but more an observing the scene and responding way, knowing that if I'm giving signs of been tired (and I tire easy) you'll get me to where I need to be, bed, in  suitably child-like way that leaves me feeling relaxed and very little.

Then there people who help me deal with some of baggage from the past because a number of my responses to situations has tripped me up, not just say from not doing something important but also making it harder for me  fit in cos I do things that can conflict with everyday norms, a good number of which I never really learned and was never expected to take any account of.

Sometimes because of some very bad encounters I had, I'd disengage first to avoid situations that had distressed me rather than mastering them.
Instead you've had higher expectations starting from the outset that I was to at least try to do what everyone else was expected to even if I needed a close eye on me and when I didn't you were prepared to follow through with appropriate child-like discipline like spanking me to ensure I learned to regulate my behaviour and changed attitudes.

A lot of people in a way gave up on me thinking I couldn't be given a second shot at getting this right but they didn't. Rather than feeling I could only mess up, they helped me replace it with a feeling I could get it right and if I messed up once, the by learning the right lesson, I get it right the next time.

For once I started to begin to look forward to social encounters knowing I'd be helped by firm, loving and caring people to handle them so I could enjoy my time with people more (and hopefully they'd feel the same).


And that does wonders for my self confidence.

In so many ways then  these things are the things that matter and have mattered so much to me over the last 100 odd posts here, the gifts that are priceless and to whom I am most thankful for.
**Thank You**

The fear factor

There always was that moment of trepidation when you heard footsteps behind you and you turned to look with an expression of forbording showing as you heart was going ten to the dozen think out what to do if you were caught out.

Sometimes it might of been bullying which sadly isn't unknown having been through it or it may be that an attempt to set someone up or investigate some matter involving a grown up is about to backfire on you.

Those last two things were  part of the drama we created for ourselves as part of the game of trying to get one over others resigning ourselves to the fate coming all too soon.

Chilling LB little style IV

The last entry of this series looked a bit more at presentation in the form of uniform and how that's changed and how that is a part of my life.
There are other parts of it too which have changed over the years, socks being oddly enough one of the first manifestations from buying school socks from the schools department of British Home Stores  every term usually grey from the late 1980's.

Strangely enough more or less the same ones are still available

These are some I recently got from a regular department store I used back then.

The other thing that goes with it is underwear which has changed a bit over the years from all white regular briefs in 2010 to these.

 Now it is to go with the newer uniformed presentation I'm to be wearing mainly these M&S blue boys briefs with a fly opening which were similar to what I wore in my last years in high school.
These arrived a few days ago and are to be worn from now on.

Numbers

The weekends interlude of snow has passed so I wobble around our estate without fallin' down today which is nice as I don't like being shut in much at all.

Talking in various places across the week brought a few memories back about the past like how we were taught maths.

 For us everything started with learning addition and subtraction (take aways) and the decimal system (yay for logical units!) before being introduced to times tables which we had to learn by rote, reciting both individually and as class  up to the Twelve timestable and also by compiling our own time tables  in a grid form.

Everything came from either a text book or more often what our class teacher stuck up on the board for us to either copy down in our exercise books and complete or to work through in class on the board with us being called out to complete in front of the class  showing your working out.

There weren't any work sheets, calculators or a computer back then.

Carrying over numbers and doing long division are kinda etched in my brain which says a lot about how effective the whole class teaching was despite my best effects of telling the teacher I didn't think I should have to, which responded in a sharp reminder who was actually in charge.

We did do fractions but by the time I went to boarding school we got more into equations, area and trigonometry  which I was lousy at to be honest.

Personal growth

It's kind of funny how it is change and permanency crop in in differing forms when it is we think about aspects of our lives such as what may matter the most or the direction a hobby or interest may take.

Some people may put a great store on things being the same then, now and even in the future living around patterns from the past and equally we can all think of people who never really seem settled, forever swapping and changing things at whim, sometimes to the consternation of those closest to them.

Sometimes you may feel things changing but hear the siren calls of those who just loved you and what you do begging you not to change, that you and what you do is all that you are and to embark on journey be it personal or in developing your skills would lose you your own qualities while others still may wish to take you down routes you might not feel sure over.

To grow and to adapt either as a person or in your interests to me seems on the face of it a healthy thing as that would imply you are learning and exploring more of what interests and fascinates you.

I know and sometimes it feels at certain sites as if I'm forever on about, I am changing, learning  to do and live with greater expectations of doing things to those I'm been familiar with far a long time which hasn't been easy.

It would of been easy to given the matters that came to a head last year to had done nothing, in effect deciding to have stayed in rut which may have been a dead for end for me but a comfortable one but instead pursued on that was and has been painful at times with the resumption of spanking in my life  but has ultimately been more benefit to me.

Sometimes it's the courage to change that we need and to accept people into our lives to make them.

Chilling LB little style III

After spending the weekend out of doors here's a new post.

Whenever people get together, not only do they talk about different things but sometimes they may bring things that for whatever reason they no longer have a use for or perhaps found didn't fit quite right but would rather another had if they could make use of them and this is very true in the Adult Little Boy community.

In many ways as discussed in 2013, this picture which is a part of the same photo series, captures the spirit of the 12ish Middle me, a boy who relaxes listening to an audio book in a  car who may know more of the grown up world but isn't in it as just those things alone are what matters in your world.

 I remember writing in December 2014 around how it was the form of uniformed schoolboy was going to change as I was to be wearing grey shorts with my first outing and how they felt so me.

Grey school shorts are for a good number of actual schoolboys, a requirement of their being at school as part of the uniform emphasizing your 'belonging' to that school and the implied acceptance of its rules.

There is a parallel of sorts with me because my caregiver requires me to wear mine not just as an adult middle treated very much as the little but also it does reinforce the acceptance of His rules and any correction that follows. It is MY uniform.

Not surprisingly that is very much how most of the time I've been out with people this year and certainly worn at home with shirt and even a tie!

I have a few school type shorts now in my wardrobe but was rather surprised to see I had been gifted two pairs of grey school shorts that just happended to be the right size waist.
Math isn't my strong point -prolly was fitted with Math proof cap early on in life! - and sizing isn't always straight forward  but putting it against me it seemed right.

It fitted perfectly so I like to thank them for their kind offer of it as they understand the importance of Uniforms to middles like me.

Halloween edition

For most people Halloween has been and and gone although I'll be off at the weekend to spend a little time with friends.

There weren't so  many little people at the door on Saturday dressed up looking for candy although the weather was more reasonable than last years so I have some spare candy and I believe at least another of my friends had the same experience. Around here I know the families of them well.

That kind of leads us into a kind of a theme because of one of things about about that weekend is about re-acquainted  with people you love having fun, the weekend despite some problems with pulled a  leg muscle and badly jarring my neck yesterday also was about that but in a different way as I encountered a few people I hadn't seen for a while.

As well, I've almost finished work on one of the seven micro sd cards for my music player - imagine something the size of a small stamp containing a couple hundred and bit albums - arranged by theme and to which I do have a kind of master list of what's on each.

That work has involved , avoiding getting very technical putting a few shelves worth of cds on to them and at the same time adding any albums I bought as downloads and it was downloads I bought around five and six years ago stored on memory stick I as adding yesterday as strangely enough the store I bought them from had withdrawn them from being either sold or even redownloaded from your folder of purchases.

So I was adding my Gorillaz albums, the Everything and Nothing compilation by David Sylvian of Japan fame (after getting the two cd side to play as two separate sides), Take That's Greatest Hits (no longer available new as they wanted a compilation with recent songs on it to be what people bought) and Paul Young's From Time To Time.

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These were albums I played a lot at the time and two were original bought as MiniDiscs which I loved in the 90's but that technology is now obsolete and in the case of the Paul Young title  that also was a very early pre-recorded mini disc that sounds very raspy too like a wasp chewing your ear!

The download (Mp3 encoded in Lame 3.97 version at 320 kilo bits per second) is much better sounding too!

Having done all of that I was getting re-acquainted with them playing from my Fiio high quality player before going off to bed on time which is something I've learned to readjust to this year.

Mary Wells

Today entry is around a double cd  by artist whose career that lasted many years only really flourished briefly and often is ignored when it comes to Motown's contribution to the evolution of Soul Music.

You see the people we associate more with Motown, like Diana Ross& the Supremes, the Temptations and the Four Tops were only really successful after Mary Wells left the label but during the first years it was her, the Miracles and Marvin Gaye who were the bit hitters chart wise. Indeed the Supremes were dubbed the 'no hit supremes' while the Beatles hung out with Mary and even shared billing on tour.

Motown was like a giant music factory working all hours recording and refining 'product' for the quality control meetings where the decision to release or just can the recordings were made so like many Motown artists, Mary had a lot of material, really fine material that commercially Motown had no use for regardless of its quality.

This set issued in 2012 is in some respects the replacement for 1993's ultra rare Looking Back double, part of a groundbreaking set of releases exploring work by less well known artists or those whose careers spun more at 45 RPM from the master tapes so had few if any lps.

While I have a number of those cds and the periods 'Anthologies' of more popular artists, hers is one I didn't get at that given we're looking at around over £100 when you see a copy, I'm not likely fill that gap.

This set has 25 unreleased tracks, a good number of new stereo mixes of tracks previously issued including duets with Marvin Gaye and Smokey Robinson plus work with the Four Tops and Supremes (the Diana Ross & the Supremes group styling came in in 1967 after these were recorded).

Mary took advice, sadly very misguidedly to leave Motown in 1964 from what was admittedly a poor contract but the process took its toll on her poor health that went back to her disadvantaged childhood and lack the nurturing environment and the pool of talented writers was to cost her commercial career dear.

Meanwhile one does need the Hits and there has been a number of compilations issued over the years one of which I owned was Greatest Hits re-issued on lp in 1970 which I bought as a bought from a market store then.

 This one dating back to 1986 remains my favourite even if the art isn't top draw and isn't hard to find used Taking in 1960's Bye Bye Baby, Two Lovers, Your Ol' Standby and You Beat Me To The Punch  as well as My Guy, a big UK hit in early 1964 although it has nothing from the Together album of duets recorded with Marvin Gaye who was rather disowning of it.

Although there is a more recent identical coupling of these two original studio albums which are very well recorded by Motown standards, this 1986 2 on 1 set is a favourite for the songs (the albums are surprisingly solid with little 'filler' making the case for her most versatile voice taking in such songs as Two Lovers, Laughing Boy, Whisper You Love Me and My Baby Just Cares for Me.

Exploration

Some people live for the feeling of exploring their surroundings, studying intently while making mental notes yet others it would seem just walk on by maybe just saying “That’s nice” before continuing.

I could never do that in a million years cos I like to live in and mine that moment for the satisfaction it gives me.

I was born to be a Scout.

Kickabout time

Footie or Soccer as it is called has always been a thing with me from the days we played it on the street, in open spaces, at school to following it religiously watching the F.A. Cup final never the times I watched with Nan as we devoured Cadbury's Fruit and Nut chocolate together and we're getting well into the 2015/16 season.

Looking back at structures and the need to be little

I'm late writing this but it something I needed some inspiration from and it only just arrive which is why I'm late todays.

I was talking with someone about the past, yes I know we has a present an' a future too but the past has lessons for you and is after all where you started out from and some of ideas I think are worth sharing.

One is given our chronological (so-called real life) ages, we've seen the world and the Countries we've lived in change from when we were little boys quite dramatically with the removal of many a Dictator, the greater freedom of expression of thought, religious beliefs and for differing ways of life.

We can to a very large extent say what with think without being arrested or effectively suppressed, in countries that had one majority faith, we can join and practice freely another and this is good.

One thing that perhaps for some of us is a negative is the way in which we've moved from very prescribed boundaries to such a state of rampant individualism that challenges any notion of social norms in our society.

We care less about how what we do may impact on others, the sense in which we are (and certainly I and people of my generation) felt being a part of a society that had shared aims and standards of behaviour in public at least. Everybody pretty much knew what was expected of them and that included respect for (adult) authority at home, at school, in the workplace never mind that of the Police even if they weren't perfect.

Today it seems that very much the idea of any respect for social rules has gone-want that seat on the train, grab it even if has been reserved, if at odds with each other in the street then call each other cuss words loudly in front of the under 12's, and so on to the point that it's hardly surprising that the only rules teens see exploring their emerging selves is that of own peer group in that way. 

While we tested the boundaries too, you knew adult authority would step in and critically your own folks would support them as having been punished for coming home the worse for drink once I'm well aware of shall we say.

For some us part of our being 'little' be it in caregiver relationships, or being just 'a little' may stem from a longing for those certainties be they from your own upbringing or perhaps looking back on those of others, you wish for them.

It provides some of the structure  we find ourselves craving.

Pondering

Sometimes on that muddy field you have to just sit and ponder over events, it might be why it was you let that goal in you got a ribbing for afterwards in the changing room, a break up in a relationship or something happening at home.

It would be easy to just go with the herd, bottle it up and play the “I’m okay, You’re okay” game but really you need to think about and process those emotions, making a plan to deal with them

Little? More thoughts around it

There were a number of things I felt like posting around today, some which may have go to other spaces I share but you know what, I feel like putting it them here any how.

The first thing I'm gonna talk about is what we mean by being a little as this from time to time causes issues depending sometimes where folks arrived from and how wide your knowledge and involvement in that community is.

If anyone expect a single universal definition, sorry there's not one as some like to slice and dice everything up often to match a subcultures take.

My start point is it's about you as an individual first and foremost starting from how you see yourself as you navigate your way from upper juniors and through your teens to approaching what the law defines as 'adulthood'.

The majority of children going through what is called 'growing up' have what is best called an emotional  age that is within the average or norm for children within their year which means at a practical level they can both be educated broadly the same level while being able to play and socialize within that peer group feeling neither to young or too old as equals, free from inappropriate behaviour.

If that was you, you'd be content  being yourself, sharing the same interests as your peers but for anyone that isn't you start to find toward your mid teens your being left out, staying the same emotional age having no interest in maybe or even getting anything from what interests your peers.

In effect you are  in very real way emotionally much younger than your chronological years that brings with it both ostracization  and vulnerabilities that others are only too willing to exploit.

I first became aware of this  around the ages of nine and ten finding my peers had outgrown me with it increasing several fold by my mid teens to the point I had to be protected at school from unsolicited and misunderstood attention from my peers.

Had it of been in this decade, rather than trying to find things in the reference library I'd of no doubt of been looking stuff up online on various sites and that simply cos nothing was around in what was supposed to had been a safe space for me never mind having spaces I could just share the interests I did have.

I don't believe in the intervening years a mid to late teen child  who is that way is that much more different although the internet itself brings risks to your doorstop, something which is of real concern to those over 18 who find them 'reaching out'. In a very real way those teens need their own adult free space until they are of age and some solid professional guidance of the sort some of us back in the day didn't have.

Those of us who are over 18 obviously started from somewhere and instead of concerns about our school friends, it's more about employers, fellow students and what anyone you may be in a relationship with as to how much of that side of they can take as well as the adult sexual side.

How that little side comes out does vary and one point I want to get across here is unlike the image you may encounter online it is not and does not have to be all about diapers, sippy cups, all in one romper type suits and pacifiers although if that's you, terrific and as those of ya who have actually seen me over here know, I don't mind in the slightest.

You can be sporty, into uniforms, play school if you like (it's fun, trust me!) spend the hours colouring, watching show on CBBC or play snap, whatever makes you feel comfortable really cos it's just that-being in emotionally comfortable space, free from grown up worries and concerns.

To me that's what we have and had as Littles even if you have moved into relationships where that's accepted and anything 'adult' is understood and consented to.

It's what makes being a little transcending of any other label regardless of any subdivision you may be such as adult schoolboy, furry or whatever.

Play time

Sometimes it seems some go to the aesthetics of being little, specifically LB waxing lyrically around clothing but really it's not about that, it is how we act on our inner Little Boy feelings such as playing with Tonka toys which many of did then.

When I'm well, I play with toy cars and ships inventing a whole story I act out or make things from lego.

The clothes don't make me LB but are an expression of that so the me I see in the mirror resembles the me I am on the inside doing that playing. just being that ten to twelve year old boy all over again. 

A Summer day trip

I went out on Saturday with daddy to the seaside departing from our estate on one of two coaches organized by residents where we travelled through our town to join the motorway network passing near Stanlow before joining the main A55 in North Wales, a semi-independent Country within the UK parking up at the coach park.
I left daddy to his own devices after getting off going some people I knew helping me cross the road to get into  the middle of town as there wasn't  a crossing and I'm poor with road sense.

 You may not of noticed it but in the gardens, there is this amazing clock set in the ground that looks rather striking from this angle. In the background on the far left is the Cenotaph and along the front there was a flower display marking  the start of World War One.

I agreed to met grumpy at 12:15 to make our way to a restaurant for lunch as being a Saturday it sure gets busy so you'd better get your skates on.

We went to Tribelles which had been recently taken over and revamped where the service was excellent from being met to getting your food in good time.

I had a 9oz Cod with chips and peas to whom the batter completely covered the fish itself so you had a whole lotta fish which is just fantastic for a growing little boy like me and tea which was very well cooked with the fish being moist but not mushy.

 There were a number of events taking place out of doors, one being a display and collection for the Royal National Lifeboat Institute, a charitable organization that rescues folk at risk on the water and that was one of their lifeboats.

Also the Lions had a vintage motorcycle exhibit with many plushies and flags on the bikes one even had Crazy Frog with his googles!

I spent part of the afternoon watching the Punch and Judy show with the children, shouting and screaming along jumping up and down for good measure cos I love letting my more little side out while not reading my Beano Summer Special comic with my childhood heroes up to their usual tricks and playing on the beach.

Llandudno is one of a number of seaside resorts that has managed to retain its long jetties into the sea -a pier- and along of which are many shops and amusements one of which this not that you'll me in or consuming their products.

Jetties have their uses apart from launching boats on, fishing being one and here's a family group doing just that.

The coastline with the Haufre Gardens toward the top left with assorted Alice in Wonderland related things to be found.
Making our way back to the coach, I had a Mint Chocolate chip icecream locally made as in many parts of the UK there is an aggressive Seagull problem meaning sitting out on the seafront  with food you'll be attacked and possibly injured by said birds.Sunny start to the day here as Marmalade has come in for his toast who smell is invading the front room, hope it doesn't burn(!) as I'll be out for part of the day enjoying the weather.

For all of the fans of this

 

And that's an awful lot of us,eh, one place I stopped by last Saturday was here.

You can follow the Alice trail across Llandudno which is an awful lot of fun.

Classical music round up 2015 part II

From time to time I do post short amounts around my classical music tastes and one conductor I discovered in my earlier years was the late Herbert von Karajan and a year ago a large 13 set of boxes of his recordings for EMI Records  came out covering the two period he recorded for them in the UK, France and Germany.

The first and unfortunate thing to say is he never did a complete set of the Finnish composer Sibelius' symphonies although he championed them  in the 1940's, missing the Third completely.
This box has his recordings from 1976 through 1981 with the Berlin Philharmonic taking in symphonies 1,2,4,5 and 6 and the Tone poems which have their own cd.
I owned a few of these on record at the time in SQ Quadraphonic  so it's nice to have a complete set carefully remastered using 96/24 mastering techniques being personal favourites.

This set in some ways is the catch all loose ends bit of the collection but having a  good  number of his recordings with the Philharmonia Orchestra to which he was the first conductor and stem from the early days of the LP record although the sound is remarkable even if a good many were taped in mono.
This set covers his 1950's recordings of Sibelius which the composer himself  was highly impressed by, something to bear in mind given the contempt some critics show for his interpretations as well as a amazing account of Berlioz's Symphonie Fantastique taped in 1954 but in stereo and among a program of 'lollipop's', there's a nice rendition of Waldteufel's Skater's Waltz which I danced to in a wheelchair as a kid.

 Rounding things off, this 2 cd set of his 1960's recordings in stereo of Symphonies 4-7 is a must being very well regarded during the lp era and features his only stereo recording of the Seventh symphony. It belongs next to  my original mid 1980's cd of Finlandia and other Tone Poems  recorded  digitally for DG and the 1987 DG Galleria re-issue of Christine Ferras's 1960's account with them of his Violin Concerto.
I was a bit late getting up this morning  even though I was in bed  and asleep according to my set bedtime although that's probably down to the overnight disturbances.
Recently I picked up this box set following an exploration of Scandinavian music

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Carl Nielsen was born on the Danish island of Funen on June 9th 1865, taking up music playing and attending the Royal Danish Academy of Music and is regarded as the pre-eminent composer of that country and died in 1931. His earlier works were inspired by Grieg and Brahms.

He wrote 6 symphonies all of which tended  to be around the half hour length  were written between 1892 and 1925 and have a number of common characteristics such as the prominence of the role of brass instruments  and unusual changes in tonality that have the effect of heightening the dramatic feel.

That's one reason why I wanted the whole set  and this one recorded around the 1990's bot only features the superb playing of the San Francisco Symphony Orchestra  but also  an excellent warm sounding recording.

I've transferred these recordings in Lossless full cd quality for my Fiio X3 digital music player on a micro SD card.

Things for a summer's day

Summer always was magical but without the structures of school work it didn't take much to get bored especially if it was a rainy day which we sometimes get.

One staple was the Summer Special and this year I got the Dandy one which I always read as a young boy more or less until Mummy cut of the newsagents order and so would buy copies during works lunchbreak and the like.
I just found it keeps me smiling as I recall what we did back then.

The good thing about annuals and books is if it is a rainy day you can start them and resume later on if it brightens up easily so I keep a good number around including a few past Summer Specials.
It was a lesson I learned in Juniors and as an LB, I find it also helps now.

I'm not just a ball kickin' boy but have been known to colour so it's not all soppy and girlish so I bought some new colour pencils to do a bit of colouring with.

The Little Monkey club

Play it seems to me is the missing ingredient in most accounts of this life be it LB or LG with so much emphasis on possessions and attire and rather less on *being*, the sense in which you are and live this life.

For me it is very much a re-run of the boyhood I had, one where I played with things such as a Hornby Wind up stream train sat on the floor in view of the grown ups, smartly dressed in shorts and turn over top long socks.

It was what we did -play- and what our position in society was, valued but subservient to the grown ups who cared for us and that is why we were little boys (and girls) happy to be in station as just that.

Mummy bought me this yesterday.

Anima the plushie Monkey behind his favourite Island site.
He came from  the Monkey Forest at Trentham, near Stoke-on-Trent, Staffordshire which as been open for ten years  where my folks bought  him.


You can wander around  watching the monkeys all day although it's not a good idea to have food on your person although there are eating areas and shops  on site, one a number of great places to visit here in the North-west Midlands

Teen beat XIIII (Streetlife Serenade)

If you read the previous editions of teen beat and the predecessors, you may of gotten the idea I do rather like Billy Joel and over the last five years a whole batch of his albums have had so-called 'audiophile' editions promising and delivering the best possible  sound from the Master Tapes.

 In 1974 he recorded a second album in Los Angeles whose songs referenced  both Surburbia and the Inner City.

Billy has publicly expressed his feeling the album as released didn't realize his intention and like with The Piano Man and Cold Spring Harbor, he re-recorded some of the songs live for the 'Songs In The Attic' album released in 1981.

The song most remember from this is album is 'The Entertainer' a #34 single hit, where he expresses his disapproval of how 'Piano Man' had been severely edited for single release inserting the sarcastic response "If you're gonna have a hit, you gotta make it fit, so they cut it down to 3:05".

Personally I like this albums wider musical range.

What's nice about this edition is the Mastering Engineer, Kevin Gray has prepared it from from the original mastertapes as mixed from the multi-track session rather than a copy of that so it's a clear sounding as possible and has the widest range between the quiet and loud passages.

The original recording to my ears was very well captured.

As well back in 1974, a four channel mix was made for the SQ quadraphonic record designed to reproduced over four speakers in the corners of your listening area and that mix is added as a extra to the Super Audio cd layer for those with players that support that format.

How did my interest in shorts begin?

To me it wasn't so much a discovery of shorts because like a good number of parents, mine had me in shorts that it wasn't really until the pressure to be 'big boy' started to creep in upper juniors and certainly by transition to high school with more and more longs being bought for me with the expectation of wearing, that I started to realize actually I much preferred shorts.

When I say shorts I don't just mean the stereotypical grey or black ones a good number of us had in infants and juniors but other more tailored shorts with bold colours such as fawn and black or orange and purple striped ones that had a button fly that I wore at home and on boarding school trips out around the ages of twelve to about fourteen.

Across that point in my life my folks started to think (because I wasn't verbally expressive which is connected to my disabilities) about my wants at the time they started to put me in cords pink of all colours (Yuk) or tight fitting jeans as jeans were very much a teen trend in that era.

It was more through luck than anything else those 'old' shorts still fitted and I begged at a point I was about to have a meltdown Mom to let me take them on holiday where I wore them feeling much more happier to the point I did get her to buy me some sports shorts so at least when I was home from school I could change into something I preferred.

Some of this is what I think you could call pure comfort in that I liked the feel of air around my legs and some was fairly early regressive feelings because (whole load of pages could be written on this) I never saw myself physically or especially with my disabilities mentally as anything other than a junior school age child on the inside and seeing a boy - me - as that junior is something I felt much more comfortable with not least because I was less likely to get in situations I hadn't the capacity to handle.

Vintage Cars

While I am unable to drive, I have always had an interest in classic and vintage cars attending rallys.

This is a 1914 Rolls-Royce Silver Ghost Tourer

The interior surely must qualify as one the most luxurious ever including a dedicated drinks cabinet for good measure.

Canalside trip

Hello there.

As you may of gathered from reading this blog, our area is something of a transportation hub for much of England and an older form of it is the Canal network, originally built to transport goods across the country.

In our instance it was to transport Coal and Pottery from North Staffordshire across to Runcorn ready to make it's way to the Port of Liverpool for export.

 The above property was the (former) Lock-keepers cottage along our part of this important canal in the North-west Midlands and maintains much of its period look with the road it's on not being tarmac'd.

 

Here's Leo, one of a goodly number of narrow boats to come along here this morning making its way toward Middlewich and then on Runcorn via Northwich.

The canal around here is at different levels thanks to local geography and so toward the far right there is a lock that acts a bit like a stairway allowing the narrow boat to climb to the right level and the point I took this this picture have just passed through one set of locks with only a short distance to go before meeting the next set.

There was actually a very famous set of steel locks just to the right built because this area suffers badly from salt related subsidence in 1958 and removed as they didn't work too well in the mid 1980's.

All pictures originated on ye olde film and if think the colour saturation and contrast is great, that's no trick of photoshop, just  Lomography 100 colour print film properly exposed and scanned by Photo Hippo Ltd in Lancashire straight from the negatives.

Accepting Middle status

Just getting down to a spot of work here today before lunch and I'm going to write something about one of things we've touched on a couple of times in chat and occasionally elsewhere.

Everybody's lives not least their Middle or Little lives is different and that might be because of things like having a partner (or not) or how it is your middle or little side comes out and how that is balanced with your big side.

Indeed search this blog and you'll find I've written a few pieces around how we do that and the 'real world' challenges in dealing with it not least when it comes to being in the workplace.

Perhaps to a greater extent  than a good number of  us and within  'our group', my sense of middleness arises less than 'age playing' or even a relatively straightforward regression in a play situation than living with real life conditions that mean I'm in middle/little headspace most of the time and not by choice although as those of you who know me understand I don't have any time for regrets. For all that lead to those conditions, I enjoy being the person I am, limitations and all.

Those limitations are however just that, and without being hypercritical were not things that I've had much help in either dealing with or helping me make the most of  my reduced abilities at necessarily.

That does lead to area of my live that does differ than many although I can see some crossovers in the more mainstream asb world which is I have person who works with me on the things I have difficulty with such as staying focused on  a task, getting started on and working through the things I need to get done rather than just going with what's fun, dealing with stressful situations and some behavioural tracts amongst other things.

They recognize and work with me as that Middle with little side providing more the kind of loving care, support and structured environment that also is quite strict to help me be more productive and adopt better habits as that Middle.

In a very real way then, being and presenting as the adult schoolboy I am ties in with this sense of having a caretaker/daddy-like figure in my life with me as that 'child'.

While he'd be the first to say the improvements in my life since his involvement in it come from my preparedness to work with him, to accept his authority (by agreement) working through it and accepting any discipline that may be needed at times, it's that support and guidance he's shown me that helped me turn a few corners.

 Some indication of it shows in how I did really well with my Homework (another thing that helps me focus on sticking to agreements, following schedules and working hard) which was a first for me given I've always sucked big time in the past with it.

And that working with who I am, a Middle, in a more Middles setting can help me so much in those situations I can't help avoid having to deal with the big world by helping me to be more responsible and learning more self discipline, not that removes all the problems but helps me feel more able to deal with things and be a bit more independent.

For me then Middles life and a re-parenting dynamic go beyond pure lifestyle not that there's anything wrong with that but are an important part of helping me make the most of my life being fulfilled, able to take a bit more care of myself and handling responsibility better.

It may not qualify for the strict criteria around the term 'Therapy'  but for me this life is therapeutic.